OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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