i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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