I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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