Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
