She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You were trust falling into bushes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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