is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
