Well apparently he's into motor boating.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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