I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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