Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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