In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
