so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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