Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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