we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
