You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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