there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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