I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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