who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
