so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
