also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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