I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
