I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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