we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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