Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
