Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
