Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think your dad took our porno
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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