Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
