i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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