My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
