you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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