I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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