How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
