Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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