I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
