I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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