soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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