someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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