Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
