Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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