i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
