so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
