I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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