This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize