Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
last night I used snow as a chaser
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