He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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