I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
