apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Randomize
