that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
