Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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