Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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