Sponge bath it is.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I enjoy the company of your penis
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
