i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
