White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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