He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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