butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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