Non-Jews are for practice
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
His nipple licking is glorious
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