nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
