Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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