we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize