he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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