Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
