His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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