Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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