Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
