our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
as a side note pls kill me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
